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The top 5 signs video games have driven you insane:
1. You've taken a friend to court for stealing a life.
2. You think Pac-Man for Atari 2600 is arcade-perfect.
3. You're eagerly awaiting the Super NES CD drive.
4. You think that full-motion-video is the wave of the future.
5. You have a few dozen boxes of Nintendo Cereal System in your closet, you eat it every morning despite the fact that it's half-decomposed.
Video game disses:
1. You're so bad at RPGs: When somebody asks you where you're stuck, you say, "The file select screen."
2. You're so bad at Virtua Fighter that you can't beat your initials.
3. You're so bad at Tetris: On two-player mode a guy can beat you with a controller that has broken left and right buttons.
4. You're so bad at Contra that after playing it with 30 lives and using all of the continues, you didn't know that the game scrolled.
5. You're so bad at Crazy Taxi that when somebody got a class E license, you were really impressed.
Signs that a video game company is evil:
1. They made a 140 hour RPG that doesn't have any way to save your game.
2. Their games are arcade-perfect, right down to the coin-slot in the cartridge. |
