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How do you handle breaking up in a relationship?
gameboy900 - Jan 6, 2003

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  gameboy900 Jan 6, 2003
Well after 1 and a half years my relationship with my perfect woman is over. She has decided to leave me for someone else. She was my first and only girlfriend. I had devoted my life to her. I had done everything I possibly could to make her happy. I even proposed to her. But it seems that things were not the same from her side.

To make a long story short the other guy she is now with she cheated on me with him (not sex or anything, just kissing at that point). Before she told me that she was seeing him she told me that she needed time to herself (a line of course) and that she needed to "figure out what she wants". She was still in love with me but something made her decide to be with him (at least she told me that she still loved me). When I found out it was someone else I nearly died from the shock. I pleaded with her to reconsider her decision not to let the time we spent together go to waste. I begged her (and I still do) to come back to me. But she doesn't feel that way. She says that she deeply regrets making the mistake of seeing the other guy, that she never wanted to hurt me and that she wishes things could be different. But she cannot go back to me (the exact reason for which I have never managed to get out of her).

I love her deeply and if she wanted to come back to me I would take her in an instant. Throughout our relationship she has been nothing but absolutely wonderful to me. She never demanded I buy her stuff, she wanted to help me with my problems just like I did with hers. She was the perfect woman to me and at the time she said the same about me.

But now I sit here with a knife in my right hand, pressed against my left wrist. I don't want to be alone again ( I was a loner before we got together). I feel horrible pain all the time, everything around me reminds me of her. I cannot sleep (lucky if I get an hour a day), I'm taking pills and drinking herbal teas to try to keep my body from destroying itself. I throw up on a regular basis and I cannot keep food down. I have lost 15 pounds in the past 2 weeks because of this, and now in a health fashion. Everytime I drive my car I pray someone hits me and kills me. I cannot watch tv because inevitably some add or show comes up about some happy couple (most recently a commercial for the movie Just Married). I have lost my purpose in life. I have lost all motivation to go on.

I'm sure some of you out there have gone through similar things. I could use good advice now, I need good advice. I fear that I might end up hurting myself or worse yet her. I fear I will never be able to turn my life around. I feel so helpless. So scared. So unloved.

 racketboy Jan 6, 2003
It can be hard getting over that first girl.

Just let me say, it's not worth doing anything drastic or harmful.

If she was cheating on you, that's not the kind of relationship you really want to get back into.

And from experience I can say that you can have someone that you think is THE ONE, break up, get over her, and find someone EVEN BETTER, and then marry the greatest girl in the world.

Right now, I suggest avoid being alone and/or letting your mind wander. Hang out with some other people or play some Sega or something to get yourself thinking about other things. it will help the healing process.

Best of luck!

 joe81 Jan 6, 2003
I've been in the same situation also i've been on the reverse side of this situation.

most recently this girl was cheating with me on her boyfriend keeps me around for some reason dont know why yet she cheats on me also so she basically cheats on 2 guys that really care for her. so i stopped talking to her yes it's hard i really did like her a lot. But i realized like the above that it's not the end of the world as time goes on things happen that you dont expect. you'll find somebody better sure this person seemed like they were the one but you'll find somebody. also just leave her a lone who the hell knows maybe sometime later she'll change and realize what she lost but if you're with somebody better don't go back to her. My friend once liked this girl alot cheated on her went out with many other people but then changed and then realized that the girl was what he wanted they're together now and talking about marriage. shit happens you just have to live through it.

Gold isnt all nice when it comes out of the ground it has to go through fire to become the final product

 Nadius Jan 6, 2003
The last relationship i was, in hindsight, terrible. It was basically me fooling around with this girl who couldn't admit to even liking me in that way. It really makes me laugh now, but i felt pretty bad after she left.

My friend's relationship with his girlfriend is probably hardest to understand. He and his girl friend fool around with other people, and they tell each other that they love each other. That makes me laugh too, people throwing that word around.

I agree with RacketBoy, just find someone to hang out with or talk with, find something to keep you busy. I find myself writing when my mind wanders back to her. And friends seem like the greatest in the world when they tell me that there is better out there. I know there is... but i found that she's a whole lotta things that i want in a girl, but I can still go out with some one who isn't her, because it is after all, just dating.

Keep on keepin' on.

 gameboy900 Jan 6, 2003
Thank you all for your kind advice. I feel really help less right now. The problem is that I have been a loner for all my life. I have 1 friend and he's 400km away in another city. I have no social life as it stands. I can't seem to occupy my mind in any way.

Unfortunately, I did cut myself with that knife. I managed to make myself stop before it went too deep but I did draw blood. I have fallen into a dark pit of despair and I'm afraid I might do something to myself again like this. Later this week I'm going to the doctor to get some anti-depresants and something strong for my nerves. I need to for now take pills to be able to maintain my life somehow. I hope I don't end up hurting myself or worse.

If there is one thing I've learned from all this is that maybe some people should stay alone. I was fine before I got involved with her, not teribly good, but at least I didn't try to slice my wrist with a knife.

I hate my life so much. At the first sign of something good happening to me fate takes it away from me and the pain comes back worse than it was before. This is the second time I've lost someone important to me in my life. The first one was my dog 5 years ago, you cannot imagine the pain I felt when I could feel him breathing for the last time in my arms. That scared look in his eyes. My life is worthless.

 IceDigger Jan 6, 2003
Maybe once the snow all melts we can stop by for a visit to cheer you up

I'm up for a road trip, anybody else? I'm itchin to get out of here.

To Gboys house we go!

Oh yea, an address would help.

And yes, I AM serious about it!

 racketboy Jan 6, 2003
Nobody's life is worthless. God had a plan for each and every one of us. We might not all know what that is exactly, nor do we always choose the correct path, but there is a purpose in our lives.

Honestly, once you get past this, you will see how insignificant situations like this are. When you're in the middle of it, you are simply clouded by emotions. Once you see through those emotions, that is when you can actually analyze the situation and move on.

 racketboy Jan 6, 2003

  
	
	

		
		

			Originally posted by IceMan2k@Jan. 06 2003, 5:43 pm



Maybe once the snow all melts we can stop by for a visit to cheer you up 



I'm up for a road trip, anybody else? I'm itchin to get out of here.



To Gboys house we go!



Oh yea, an address would help.



And yes, I AM serious about it!


yeah man, we're all your friends -- even though you can't reach out and hit us upside the head, we are all hear for you.

 Zziggy00 Jan 6, 2003

  
	
	

		
		

			Originally posted by racketboy@Jan. 05 2003, 6:47 pm



Nobody's life is worthless. God had a plan for each and every one of us. We might not all know what that is exactly, nor do we always choose the correct path, but there is a purpose in our lives.



Honestly, once you get past this, you will see how insignificant situations like this are. When you're in the middle of it, you are simply clouded by emotions. Once you see through those emotions, that is when you can actually analyze the situation and move on.


1) your first part i believe is not entirely true, there is no proff to back this up, nor will there ever be... don't rule your ideas out, but at the same time don't ignore the real possibility that the galaxy, earth, and everything inside it of it, is just a large cosmic happen so, and that we are drifting around sensely for no other point than the fact that we were born and that we live our lives for no reason.

2)I agree with you completely there ( ). Why would you ever want a woman back when she cheats on you anyways, no matter how much you loved her, she obviosuly won't be loyal to you in the future so be thankful this happened now and not later on down the road. Move on...

 racketboy Jan 6, 2003

  
	
	

		
		

			Originally posted by Zziggy00+Jan. 06 2003, 6:03 pm-->
QUOTE(Zziggy00 @ Jan. 06 2003, 6:03 pm)